Into The Darkness
by Delenn
Summary: NEW:8-7-03 Redemption isn't what it used to be nowadays, especially for a souled vampire who sacrificed himself to save the world but now finds himself tossed back into it. And why does it feel like he's missing huge chunks of his life?


**Disclaimer: See, there's this god that walks around on earth, and this god, he owns 'em all. Bow down to the great Joss! Ya'know, 'cause I'm just a lowly fan who likes to sneak in and borrow the characters; Hey, I promised to return 'em, eventually.   
  
Author's Notes: Wow, well, Buffy's over. That's it, the end, thank you very much for that, SMG. In the meantime, talk about startling an audience, rumors that Spike's gonna be on _Angel_ and then… well, if you haven't seen the end yet, don't read this story. Well after I got over the initial shock/trauma/denial (and did a good deal of research) it came to my attention that the rumors weren't lies. Which begs the question, how ARE they going to get Spike crossed-over to _Angel_ and what to do about his love for Buffy who probably won't be making a zillion trillion guest appearances, cause then she'd be a regular? Frankly, I have no idea, and that doesn't fit in with my plans at all, so here's a happily-ever-after then ending that would be really nice to see, all spuffyness friendly. Enjoy!   
  
Summary: Redemption isn't what it used to be nowadays, especially for a souled vampire who sacrificed himself to save the world but now finds himself tossed back into it. And why does it feel like he's missing huge chunks of his life?   
  
Rated: R   
  
Date Started/Finished: May 27th 2003**   
  


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Into The Darkness   
By ~Delenn~

  
  
  
  
His head, it hurt. It hurt like a…. he couldn't remember, but he was sure there was something that he was supposed to put in there. Some great big horrible something because that's what his head felt like.   
  
Shaking the offending head to try to clear the pain he was vaguely aware that this sensation was familiar, the pain, and the ways to get rid of it. How to get rid of it, he had to at least know that much. Slowly the world came into focus again, less painfully and in less blinding… color?   
  
There wasn't supposed to be color, was there? No, he decided there wasn't, there was supposed to be something blinding and… yellow, that was it, blinding yellow. There wasn't any yellow here he realized, only dull colors. Black, lots of black to be sure, but other - less visible - colors too.   
  
It was night that was it, but why was it night and more importantly, where was he? He couldn't remember.   
  
_"I love you," her face so golden, shining… no, glowing even in the light.   
  
So beautiful, he didn't deserve all that beauty looking at him like that, her eyes sparkling so clearly, she couldn't be telling the truth, she just couldn't.   
  
"No, you don't."_   
  
He shook his head again, decidedly, trying to piece together something other than that image; some reference to where he had been but all he could see was golden light and her face.   
  
Looking around he decided the best course of action was to find out where he was _now_ because it certainly didn't seem like the same place, and that woman, whoever she was, was nowhere to be found.   
  
There was a large hulking building in front of him, _hotel, it's a hotel._ Okay, he at least knew that much. It was across the street, there were people inside, and there were people out here.   
  
He wondered what he looked like, standing there, shaking his head. Slowly he brought up a hand and stared at it for a while, it looked so alien, so unlike anything about those bustling people around him. They were all so rosy and bright and happy, he didn't feel like that, didn't seem like them. Or did he? He was supposed to be like them, wasn't he?   
  
There was something oddly familiar seeming about this hotel across the street, he could tell that much at least. _Well, it's something, not like I've got anything else to go on._ Slowly, cautiously, he made his way across the street, adjusting to how he moved, it seemed too fast, but when he moved like the others it felt so slow, something in-between then.   
  
Once he had successfully navigated around all the cars in the street, he contemplated the door of the hotel. It seemed like a long while he stood there, but he couldn't be sure.   
  
_"I love you…"_   
  
Her again. He didn't know why, but there she was in his mind's eye, so clear that he could have drawn her down to the finest detail. He didn't think he drew. He didn't know.   
  
The door opened and…. "Oh my God…"   
  


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To Be Continued


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